Memoirs of a Swordsman
by The Flower Girl
Summary: On the death of a loved one, our favorite swordsman reflects...


Memoirs of a Swordsman  
Rating: PG (G just sounds strange)  
Summary: On the death of a loved one, our favorite swordsman reflects.   
AN: I took this an idea from an old XFiles fanfics I had titled Memoirs of an FBI Agent, and I figured I could try mine only with Slayers. L/G with minor Z/A. A little OOC, but DEAL WITH IT!!!  
Disclaimer: If you really think I own Slayers, you are very silly. :9  
  
~begin transmission~  
They buried my wife today. It's taken a toll on me, and that's why I"m writing this. I hope that our children find it and read what the should have known long ago, and our friends too. Let's start at the beginning.  
  
(sigh)  
  
I shouldn't have written that, should I? ah well... I'm a bit nervous....Let's try this over.  
  
I am Gourry Gabriev and I am sixty-two years old. I've just watched my love of forty years die before me. I don't understand. She was strong. Very strong. When our last child was born, she took it with a smile - she ended up liking children in the end. So much so in fact, the three we had planned for ended up in five...heh. I don't know why she couldn't fight the disease, was she just tired of trying?  
  
That wasn't the beginning. Oh dear, I didn't plan for it to be like this.  
  
There were a lot of things people didn't know about her, such as how that loud, rude, greedy personality she had was just a facade. I saw the real Lina. She acts differently when there is no one around. I know, I've been kicked, punched, dropped, insulted, fireballed, and Dragon Slaved, but I got past all that fear and apprehension. The "real" Lina is caring, gentle, funny and most of all, needy. I didn't realize how much she needed someone until after I asked for her hand.  
  
I asked her to marry me a short time after Darkstar was destroyed. She just looked at me blankly and asked me to repeat myself - which I gladly did. After much thinking on her part, she said yes. The wedding was a quiet affair, performed in Seillunbe (Ameria was thrilled), with few guests, mostly friends. Afterewards, we just wandered a while, from town to town, doing what we always do. It felt strange to settle down right away, so she suggested looting and I agreed. One rainy night she climbed off her bed into my arms, for warmth, she told me. That was the last day we plundered.  
  
We found a place in a little town called Nappollo. With the help of Phil, Zel, Xel, and the kingdom of Xoana, we were able to start the strange beginning that would mark the start of our life together. It was strange in the beginning. Understandably, Lina had difficulty adjusting to the role of housewife - and I couldn't stand to see her like that. She didn't tame that easily, and I loved every bit of it. There were nights I would lay awake, listening to her sleep, and wonder how we ever ended up here. I thought that after the Rezos and Gaav and Phibrizzo and Darkstar - and scolded myself fo buying that ring from a corner jeweller when Lina was finding food. Honestly, I never thought I'd fall in love with her. That was not in a mercenaries job description, and I usually try not to fall for little kids. But I guess fate had it in for me, and I would fall for this "little" kid.  
  
It seemed like two weeks, but it was probably a year, when we recieved a wedding invitation. Zel had given up looking for his cure and decided to take Ameria up on her offer. He went to Seillune, and found himself in the same position I was. 'I just can't see Zel getting married' Lina said, when we got the invitation. I couldn't either, but he probably spent as much time as I did thinking about it. We travelled back to Seillune to see the wedding, which took place in front of royalty from what seemed like every corner of the world. Thinking back, it's still strange to think of Zel as being Prince Zelgadiss of Seillune.  
  
One by one, our family grew, and one by one, we changed more than we had been. Now that I think about it, a pregnant, fireballing Lina is almost the same as a fireballing Lina. Heh. I knew we came farther than we both expected ourselves to be when I followed our oldest (weilding a stick sword and trying to fireball the wall) to the kitchen where I was greeted by a very pregnant Lina holding Cailinn. I did a double take and realized I never expected to see her like that. She can still fireball pretty well with one hand.  
  
I knew this was a bad idea to write this. I've had to re-write the last half because the page smudged due to an unstoppable fountain of tears...I can't go on like this without you. Oh, Lina, I need you!  
  
A house filled with three extra red heads is an interesting experience, I'll tell you. I can recall back to one time Zel and Ameria stopped by while they were on holiday. He thought we were crazy. He also couldn't see my little red head sorceress being anything other than that. Surprisingly, she fit into the role of mother quite well, teaching our brood everything from the basic spells to the Ragna Blade, which she never let them use.  
  
Which is why her sickness hurt me more than it hurt her. I sat by her bedisde every night. Once she had to be moved from our bedroom to the couch downstairs when she became too ill to walk, I gladly carried her from room to room and outside all while reliving the youth we cherished. As she neared death, her tiny body wasting away, I spent more and more time by her side, wishing away the illness and kissing away the tears.  
  
There were many nights I sat there, awake, listening to her labored breathing, wondering if this was my fault somehow. Could this have been due to over exertion in her youth? Could I have done something more?  
  
The day she died, she smiled, eyes sparkling as they were the day I met her. She told me everything would be alright and kissed me one last time.  
  
  
For the first time in forty years, I'm having trouble sleeping. I can't sleep alone any more. Anything that reminds me of her drives me to tears. Xelloss showed up at her funeral wearing duplicate talismans like the ones he gave her so many years ago. ( I guess it was a promotion gift from Zelas, or at least that's what he told me.) I had to ask him to take them off it was so unbearable. He removed them and placed them in that bag of his (to this day, I'm still not sure what he keeps in there)  
'Why are you here?' I asked him. 'Don't you normally thrive off this sort of thing?'  
'You're right, but all those years I watched you together...to be honest, I've never seen anyone more in love....Yes, that kills me, but I figured you might appreciate to see me here.' He teleported to the casket, where he stood for a moment, and then vanished. It took all my strength to walk where she lay. I took the talisman that she treasured so dearly from her belt and clasped her hands around it. I stood there for a minute, holding her cold hands, and silently wept.  
  
I will continue to cope until L-sama decides its time for me to join her. She know it will be unbearable without Lina here, but unfortunately, she feels it is not yet my time. I must tell my grandkids about their grandma - a wonderful woman who will be missed. Goodbye Lina. You'll be in my heart until the day I die.  
  
~end transmission~  
  
AN: This is exactly how I wanted it. I hope you brought some Kleenex with you. This is more serious than most of my stuff (not to mention sadder). I know Xelloss is WAY out of character, but so is everyone else. Hoped you like it! R&R please!  
-TFG- 


End file.
